January 6, 2017
Russian Operatives Identified!
(The Lickspittle News Network) Through the stunningly brilliant work of President Obama’s (May he reign forever!) CIA, the Russian operatives who were behind the recent cheating by Donald Trump to steal the election that was rightly Hillary’s (Sigh – “History” SHOULD have been made!) have not only been identified, but their images can now he shown. The totally independent and trustworthy 17 Intelligence agencies (who are so secret that we can’t identify who they are – but they ARE REALLY, REALLY good at finding these Rooskie spies…), have released the names of the evil perpetrators who ripped our country off from having the extraordinary delight in finally breaking that last glass ceiling – well, maybe not last… but anyway – we got the spies.
Here they are – with their Rooskie names. In American, they are: Russian spy Boris Badenov; his accomplice, Natasha Fatale; their boss, “Fearless Leader”; and His boss, who only answers to Putin himself, “Mr. Big.”
Now, can you racist, misogynist, homophobes who support Trump – who is the LEAST qualified man to EVER be elected President – make sure we declare war on the Rooskies? After all – wasn’t it Reagan, your hero, who violated the Boland Amendment to make a deal with the evil… I mean, new friends, the Iranians – who WEREN’T our friends back then! – who declared that Russia was outlawed and said the bombing would start in five minutes? And didn’t he illegally help the Contras, who were right-wingers (like Trump) who will NEVER be our friends? What happened – I thought you guys HATED Brezhnev, right?
Anyway… here are their mugshots…
That’s the Lickspittle News Network… signing off…
Борис Баденов Наташа Fatale
Бесстрашный Лидер Мистер Большой