July 17, 2016
The following is SATIRE. According to The Free Dictionary, a satire is “A literary work in which human foolishness or vice is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.”
It is also a PARODY. Again: “A literary or artistic work that uses imitation, as of the characteristic style of an author or a work, for comic effect or ridicule.”
News Release from the Lickspittle News Network (LNN):
DONALD TRUMP, CASINO OWNER, can’t seem to make up his mind about his “running mate”, Indiana Governor Mike Pence. It was discovered by LNN that, while TRUMP, from his gold-plated headquarters at Trump Towers in a very exclusive section of New York that most people couldn’t afford to live in because they’re not NEARLY as RICH as Mr. TRUMP, was denying that he had made his final decision yet, Governor Pence (who, unlike Donald Trump, is an Evangelical Christian) was entering his plush living quarters from one of many outside entrances. So, because Donald Trump was announcing to LNN that he had not yet made his final decision, he must not be able to make up his mind.
Some reporters at LNN speculated that Donald Trump (who is very rich and NOT an Evangelical Christian because he owns casinos) is too indecisive to be president. They suggested that, if Governor Pence was coming into one of the many back doors of his gold-bedecked Trump Towers, and Donald Trump was AT THAT VERY MOMENT telling the well-respected LNN that he had not yet made up his mind, he can’t be expected to be able to make life-and-death decisions that, as president, he will one day have to make.
Meanwhile, the first woman chosen as the candidate of a major political party in American History, Hillary Clinton, is making the correct executive move by pondering, considering, and acting decisively to name her running mate – who she hasn’t named yet, but she KNOWS WHO IT WILL BE – unlike Donald Trump, who couldn’t make the right decisions as a CASINO OWNER in ATLANTIC CITY ( as well as in LAS VEGAS, a place where Evangelical Christians should never go), so he had to DECLARE BANKRUPCY and put the many people he hired out of jobs. Hillary Clinton has NEVER put hundreds of workers – especially UNION workers – out of jobs!
Hillary Clinton, unlike the rash., heartless, failed CASINO OWNER, Donald Trump, is waiting until the right moment – the perfect moment of her brilliantly run campaign – to announce HER all important Vice Presidential running mate. Or, at least until after her data (poll results) give her a better idea of who would be the best fit with her and the American people. Unlike the blithering stumbling rich man Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton makes decisions over time after carefully considering all of her options. What a leader she is ALREADY – even before she’s officially been elected! Her running mate (whoever it is, depending on her continued “research”), will be the best choice since Joe Biden… or at least Al Gore…
Wait and see! Coming soon! (LNN)
PS: Well, at least Donald Trump is not a MORMON… like MITT ROMNEY…
PSS And, Donald Trump has had THREE WIVES! See – he never COULD make up his mind!