The New Progressive Ten Commandments
For Forward-thinking, progressive people, who can’t accept the out-dated old “Ten Commandments”, I have developed a new and vastly improved list. The list will be positive “Thou shalt” commands, but a negative list for each is also included:
1 Thou shalt be tolerant of all religious beliefs, since all roads leadeth to god anyway. Thou shalt NOT proselytize! Who art thou to say that there is only one way to god?
2 Thou shalt tolerate (and fund) whatever graven images anyone wouldeth like. The human body is a thing of beauty. Thou shalt NOT try to restrict freedom of expression of any artist in any way! Thou shalt NOT, however, display any image related to any right-wing sectarian group, like a Nativity scene or the old Ten Commandments.
3 Thou shalt tolerate full freedom of expression in popular culture, like in movies, TV, books, etc. After all, the author needeth to have full range of vocabulary to express how people really talketh. Thou shalt NOT engageth in hate speech! This would include reading parts of the Bible that could cause low self esteem to others based on the malicious ideas of “sin” and “morality”.
4 Thou shalt worship your god (or no god) in any way thou see-est fit. Thou shalt NOT go to church on Sunday! Just think of how you make other people feel who don’t go to church! What art thou, better than they are?
5 Thou shalt question authority! Nobody will telleth THOU what to do! Thou shalt NOT honor or respect your parents or the police or teachers or any government officials – unless they be Democrats!
6 Thou shalt defend the lives of animals and convicted murderers. Thou shalt allow the termination of pregnancies, for any reason. Thou shalt promote euthanasia in all its forms. Thou shalt NOT kill animals for any reason, or execute criminals. Thou shalt NOT EVER fight in a war!
7 Thou shalt tolerate and affirm all expressions of human sexuality. If it feeleth good, DOETH IT! Thou shalt NOT make any law restricting reproductive freedom. Anybody can do whatever they wanteth with their own body!
8 Thou shalt redistribute wealth as fairly as thou canst. Socialism and genuine communism are the only legitimate and fair types of economies. Thou shalt NOT participate or approve of any form of capitalism.
9 Thou shalt recognize that all truth is relative. There is no such thing as absolute truth … and that’s the absolute truth! Thou shalt NOT believe that any “truth” is absolute. It dependeth on what the meaning of “is” is.
10 Thou shalt covet anything thy neighbor hath. After all, it’s not fair that they have something that thou dost not have. The playing field needeth to be leveled! Thou shalt NOT judge someone by the content of their character but by the color of their skin, or gender, or class, or other aspects of victimhood.